She wasn’t a pretty thing. She probably grew up in some old cottage or ranch-style house. Her housemates, though old-fashioned and probably just old, had cared for her and spent many special evenings sitting and talking. She had a sturdy build but was light on her feet. Her body was soft, some would say comfortable, and her skirt modest. She was ugly, but attractively cheap, and for a haggled-over price of $15, she was ours for the night.
We took her to a few different spots, with the intention of getting our picture taken together around town, to somehow prove that were not all couch potatoes. The idea was a good one and for the most part we were true to its purpose. To accomplish it we would pull up to a prospective locale, carry her from the van to a spot with the best view, and set up our cameras. Putting her in the best possible light and angle, we would then sit with her as the cameras did their jobs. Then quickly, leaving the cameras in place, we would jump up and take her back to the van, stuffing her in and closing the hatch before anyone could see. It wasn’t that we didn’t want to be seen with her, we mostly just didn’t want to have to answer embarrassing questions.
Once we asked a store owner if we could pose with her in front of their establishment, only to be turned down. After that we decided it was better to ask for forgiveness rather than permission. Another time we trespassed into an old graveyard, to lay her down by some crumbling headstones. She got her feet wet, on the swampy bank of a small but picturesque pond; and she sat crookedly at another place, on a pile of old bricks and mortar. At a pedestrian overpass we started to notice her weight, when we carried her some two-hundred yards to a spot over the highway, from a nearby Jack-in-the-Box parking lot. We weren’t terribly happy with the spots we ended up picking for the pictures, but what was important was that we were out of our houses and spending time with her.
At the end of the night we took her back home. We laid her down gently not far from where we first saw her, and we took one last picture to cap off the night. Some people stared, and odd murmurs could be heard, but we both thought she was worth every penny.
Looking back I think we gave her the ride of her life. She will probably be doomed to sit and watch as others come and go, only giving her a fleeting glance. I don’t feel bad though, as she served her purpose well. And let’s face it, she’s still an ugly old couch, and she knows it.