Monday, January 9, 2012

To The Reader

Dear reader,

This is a blog about not dying. It's about not falling asleep midday, mid-stride, mid-yawn. It's about not letting your liver rot. It's about having new experiences, taking risks, and venturing out into the unknown. It's about searching out those untraveled corridors of the 'familiar', those places we think we know, but of which we haven't yet quite picked all the meat off the bones.

Matt and I (Chris) aim to become enlightened gurus of the furthest boundaries of our being via exploits that might be deemed by onlookers to be arbitrary, or foolish, or reckless, or undignified, or downright embarrassing...but which in nowise may be described as boring. Together we form the front lines against the onslaught of the rot of laziness and existential cruise control, and we will resist to the end. That is, unless we achieve an early, wealthy retirement--in which case all bets are off and we're going to sleep like everybody else. Just kidding. I think.

The image at the top of our home page of a dude 'sleeping' is actually an authentic Victorian post-mortem photograph! Pretty heinous, right??? I know, we loved it too. We believe in the Swashbuckler's Bible and in its One Commandment as old as Life itself, engraved upon our waiting headstones : "Thou Shalt Not Rot." Sadly, it is a principle unembodied in much of our contemporaries' most fervent creeds and philosophies. We. Will. Not. Rot.

To that end we dedicate this blog of our adventures, misdeeds, and otherwise capricious capers. May the next generation be inspired by our acts of valor, weirdness, and randomness; and may they learn from us how to avoid the dark fate of sniveling in the rusty fetters of a lazy, directionless life that sours the stomach, congeals the blood, and rots the brain before one's been properly embalmed and eulogized. Our message? --Just get out there and live people! Or be condemned to sit there and drink your margarita, enjoying the 'there-ness' of a spectator, being a scorekeeper, secretly wishing we adventurers would twist an ankle or crack a rib, wondering with masked jealousy where we get all our 'energy'. We just call that 'living'.

We are going to be attaching our calendar of events, and we will blog after those events take place. There will be pictures and testimonies about how we stretched, and what we learned. Thus begins our noble attempt to put off rotting from the inside-out for just one more year.